In the beginning there was just one person living on the earth and he was named Adam. He was a very happy and well-adjusted fellow because there was no one around to say otherwise and also because he never had to contend with any traumatic childhood memories whatsoever. In fact, he never even had a childhood, but rather began life as a fully functioning adult. Even so, he began with more childlike wonder than anyone who has ever lived, just as surely as he was forced to carry a great deal more regret than the worst villain in any story. Such is the stuff of which fascinating tales are made, however, and it’s about time someone got this particular story straight once and for all.
Now as the first human, Adam was designed and then brought into existence by Creator, who has over time acquired more different names than anyone could ever need. It might be best if we just stick with Creator here, I think.
Creator, as the name implies, really, really, really enjoys making things. And while the things he makes seem simple enough from a distance, nearly everything Creator creates is very precise and extremely complicated. So complicated, in fact, that the smartest people who have ever lived with the help of the biggest computers ever built and using some of the coolest machines ever manufactured still cannot figure out how and why Creator’s creation works the way it does. So even though much of creation (that’s what we call Creator’s designed and finished product – “creation”) is simple enough for most people to understand, some parts will apparently always remain just beyond human ability to really explain to anyone’s lasting satisfaction. Gravity, bumblebees and wave-particle duality come to mind here.
To keep Adam safe and occupied with making healthy life choices, Creator gave his very first human a lovely green garden in which to live. It was stocked with mostly friendly animals, scenic vistas and plenty of vegetation, much of which was delicious to eat year round. Creator was overly generous and even let Adam name all of the animals absolutely anything he wanted (“gnu,” in case you were wondering, is an acronym). However, and this part is rather integral to the story, Adam was instructed that he could eat just about anything that grew in the garden except for the fruit of one particular tree called “the tree of good and evil.” That was the one exclusive part of the rather sizable garden area where Creator told Adam to stay away. You will quickly observe that the garden was a pretty simple setup for the first man. Enjoy yourself and your surroundings every day you are here, but whatever you do, do not eat from that one tree over there in the corner. What could possibly go wrong?
I’m joking, of course, but wouldn’t you think the name of the forbidden tree alone would have been enough to put just about anyone off eating from it? I mean, if your lunch menu choices are hamburger, hot dog, pizza, or the sandwich of good and evil, it is pretty obvious that the proprietor of that eating establishment doesn’t want you to select that last item. And let’s face it, when the waiter conspicuously smirks at an inquiry regarding whether the G&E sandwich comes with fries, well, most of us would probably just go with the burger.
Adam lived the good life, stayed away from the you-know-what tree, and everything went well for him for a nice long stretch of time. It is not clear exactly how long that was, but there is not even one animal today without a moniker of some kind, so do the math and calculate how long it would have taken to tag them all with a different name.
